Job Title - Mother
I recently attended a networking event that was organized for women. Overall, a good experience and there was definitely a lot of inspiration, passion and really good discussion around women in business, tech, etc, etc. It’s amazing what women can do and achieve, right? I met a few interesting people and it’s safe to say that I’ve finished my networking ‘quota’ for the year.
I’m not a very keen ‘networker’ if that’s a word. I’m one of those people who take a little bit of time to open up and need a lot more effort to mingle and network. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s just slightly more awkward at the beginning and is quite draining in general. That said, it doesn’t mean I don’t attend such events. I think they are very important and it’s good to get out of your comfort zone from time to time! Anyway, I did what I had to and got what I wanted to out of the event, which is the most important thing, right?
So, while I was at the event, I decided to get some professional advice on how to improve my CV. You see, I’ve been on a ‘career break’ for the past 3 years and now I’m hoping to get back into the workforce. I think it’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in recent times. First of all, there’s all sorts of inertia and self-doubt that I’m having to deal with. Then, there are these added requirements that weren’t there before - like child care, flexible working, emotional struggle, parent events, managing pick up/drop off, potential travel, holidays etc. etc. so there are multiple things to consider and think about. In addition to that, there’s the technical aspect of this all - the CV, the interviews and the ‘where do you see yourself in 5 years’ type conversations - which in my opinion are (no offense to anyone) quite awkward and tedious - to both the interviewer and the candidate, not to mention borderline unnecessary! But what to do.. I’m sure they’re there for a reason, so it’s just one of those things we have to rehearse and get done with.
Anyway, where were we? Yes, the event! I was basically categorised as ‘returning mum’, based on all the different categories and descriptions. So I just had to go to the respective booth and introduce myself as ‘returning mum’ and it was as though everyone had me figured. I discover a new mom label everyday! There were loads of experts there dealing with all sorts of CV cases - career breaks, change of career, returning mums, part time workers, working from home women, etc etc. I had a good discussion with a consultant who was really helpful and got straight to the point - so it went like this -
Consultant - So, we need to figure out how to address the ‘gap’.
Me - Yep, valid point - there was a three year gap in my CV and that’s something interviewers would potentially grill me on. It’s a big No-No in the corporate world. Been there, done that! You know, I’ve been to interviews where interviewers were more interested in what I did in my ‘gap’ years than in my ‘career’ years. Like what did I do? Did I update any of my skills? Did I do any courses or qualifications? I mean, I get that. But in my humble opinion, it would be useful to understand what I did in my previous jobs, no? Or my skills? No matter how understanding, open and inclusive people think they have become, I think the stigmatization of the ‘career break’ or ‘career gap’ still remains. It’s sad, but it’s true.
So I explained to her what I had been up to - I had a baby, then I travelled to Singapore and then to Dubai where I spent a total of 3ish years, supporting my husband in his career and doing what was best for our family. Exploring beautiful places, different cultures, soaking up the wonderful sights and discovering new things about myself in the process. Traveling, reading, setting up a website, blogging, dabbling in photography, writing poetry, being mommy and raising a gorgeous boy, being available to him for every little thing, volunteering at school, becoming healthy and strong, basically facing everything that was thrown at me - sometimes with a smile on my face, sometimes pulling my hair out of frustration. The truth is - starting your life from scratch in a new country with a child is not easy, and I did it twice in two different countries in a span of 3 years and it was bloody hard - and that’s what I’ve been doing. I don’t regret it one bit! I am actually grateful that I had this opportunity to travel and do amazing things and it makes me so sad that I’m asked to ‘cover up’ this ‘gap’ time and again - to constantly justify myself, my choices and why I haven’t worked for 3 years.
Consultant - Hmm, interesting! These are all great things. So we could actually change the format of your CV so the gap isn’t that obvious, there are all sorts of formats circulating these days. It’ll be fine. Let’s do chronological order.
Me - I let out a little sigh. Yep, let’s do it. In any case, I have to make my CV stand out, right? That’s the whole point. In my heart, I knew the consultant was making sense. Recruiters everywhere were generally quite wary of the ‘gap’ and that’s just how it is. So I played along, simultaneously making a mental note that I would never work with anyone who had issues with the ‘gap’. Finally after a lot of re-jigging and re-formatting, we came to the bit where we had to write about the career break.
Consultant - Ok, you know what, you should just write Job Title - Mother. And write a small description of your time abroad.
Me - I smiled at her because I thought she was joking. What, really? It’s allowed? These were my very words ‘ Is it allowed?’. Now, I wasn’t sure who was sitting up there in the CV Ministry making all these rules in the first place, but I was aware that there were certain things you could and couldn’t write in your CV. I mean, I’ve seen some really obnoxious CVs in my time and I really didn’t want to put off potential employers by having a borderline cocky CV. But I loved what she was suggesting! In fact, it was the best thing I’d heard all day. Sometimes, we just look for some form of validation, and someone who understands your point of view. I was never going to hide my career break anyway, but I had never found the right way to address it. This way, by putting it out there, I was at least making sure that the line of questioning wouldn’t be around the ‘gap’, but could be more focussed on the actual things that mattered.
That day, I realized that sometimes you just have to be open and upfront about the things you want to say. CV or no CV - you have to stand up for yourself and value your worth, because if you don’t, no one else will. I know I’ve worked hard to reach where I am, and to be the person I am today. And I certainly won’t give anybody the power to make me feel like I’ve suffered a major disadvantage, and that my only option is to start from scratch. Of course, there’s nothing wrong in starting from scratch (again, been there, done that 5 times), but that will be my decision to make.
So, to all those who have had a career break for whatever reason, all I want to say is that there’s no reason to feel like you’re at a loss. The world will make you feel like it’s a major problem and that you have to compromise at every level. That’s just how it is, there are all kinds of wackos out there. Life teaches you a lot of things and if you’re really passionate about working and have the willingness to put yourself out there and learn, there should be nothing stopping you from getting that job that you want. And to all the hiring managers and recruiters out there - for a change, DON’T mind the gap please, is all I have to say.
As for me, I’m just putting some finishing touches on my shiny new CV and I’m going to give it my best shot. Who knows what’s in store for me, but I’m confident that whatever it is, it’ll be great!